Mal: Sure as I know anything i know this: I aim to misbehave.

Mal: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our engine sequence so we might experience some slight turbulence and then.. explode.

Mal: She is a mite unpredictable... Mood swings... of a sort.

Mal: Y'all got on this boat for different reasons, but we all comin' to the same place. so now im asking more of you than I have before.

Mal: If the alliance wanted to reason, they shouldn't have sent an assassin.

Mal: Violence is going to ensue!

Mal: Dear Buddha, I would like a pony and a plastic rocket.

Jayne: Let's be bad guys.

Wash: I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.

Wash: Can I make a suggestion that doesn't involve violence?

River: I swallowed a bug.

Wash: This is gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define interesting.
Wash: Oh god, oh god, were all gonna die?

Jayne: Where is it written we gotta lay down our lives for her?
Mal: Do you wanna run this ship?
Jayne: Yes.
Mal: Well.. you cant.

Zoe: Do you really think any of us are getting out of here alive?
Jayne: I might.

Mal: The universe has gotta know the truth.
The Operative: Are you willing to die for that?
Mal: I am.

Man: You have to give me your authorization password. *gun shots* Okay!

The Operative: It's worse than you know.
Mal: It usually is.

The Operative: I want to resolve this like civilized men. I'm not threatening you, I'm unarmed...
Mal: Good.

Man: Do you know that girl?
Mal: I really don't.

Mr. Universe: The Alliance has gone to enormous trouble to find your friend.

The Operative: Every minute you keep River Tam from me, more people will die.
Mal: Do you think I care?
The Operative: Of course you care.

The Operative: You can not make me angry.
Inara: Please, spend an hour with him!

Wash: Can we start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90 pound girl? Because that's never getting old.

Mal: Yes, I have read a poem. Try not to faint.

Mal: While I'm gone, Zoe is in command. Now, if I'm not back in an hour, I want you to take this ship, take off... and you come and you rescue me!

River: Bullet in the brainpan. Squish.

Jayne: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something right."

Wash: I'm a leaf on the wind.
Mal: What the hell does that mean?

Mal: I am taking your sister under my protection here. That means that if anything happens to her, I will get very choked up. Seriously, there might even be tears.

Inara: Mal what are you doing here?
Mal: You invited me.
Inara: I never thought for a second you'd be stupid enough to come.
Mal: Well that makes you kind of a tease, doesn't it?

Simon: If I speak the words, [starts to speak in Chinese]
Jayne: Don't say it!
Zoe: It only works on her Jayne.
Jayne: Oh. Well now i know that.

Mal: Did the primary buffer panel just fall off my gorram ship for no apparent reason?
Wash: Looks like.

I dont plan on any shooting taking placce on on thsi job ya but what you plan and what takes place aint ever exactly been similar no grenades what? awww. later... Jayne: Sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't ya think? Kaylee i didnt plan on going out like this. you told me those entry couplings would hold for another week that was six months ago, cap'n this is the place. well buy you the time were not alone sometimes people have feelings. im refering here to.. people. you shoot me if they take me. well dont shoot me first! jewel the only thats scifi about the show is that we live on a spaceship the great thing about writng sicence ficiotn id that its basically about writing every thing in history that interests you becus every thing in history is a piece of human nature