Serenity - Quotes

Firefly/Serenity Quotes - Wash

Wash: "Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this 
land, and we will call it... "This Land."
I think we should call it "your grave!"
Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh!

Zoe: "Sir? I'd like you to take the helm, please. (re: Wash) I need this man to tear all my clothes off." 
WASH: Work, work, work...

Zoe: I know something ain't right. 
Wash: Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail.

"I wanna go to the crappy town where I'm a hero!"

WASH (alarmed): Oh my god. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this 
thing!? (deadpan) Oh right, that would be me. Back to work.

"Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks 
on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese."

Mal: I'm getting a little weary of this attitude, Wash. 
Wash: Are you? Well, I'm so very sorry, sir. I guess the news that we're all gonna be purple 
and bloated and fetal in a few hours has made me a bit snippy.

"Hey! I've been in a firefight before. Well, I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired. From a fry 
cook opportunity. I can handle myself."

ZOE: Is there any way I'm gonna get out of this with honor and dignity? 
WASH: You're pretty much down to ritual suicide, lambie-toes.

"Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."

WASH: Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next? 
ZOE: Either blow us all up or rub soup in her hair. It's a toss-up. 
WASH: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.

WASH: Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast. 
JAYNE: She's in Congress? 
WASH: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious.

WASH: I mean, I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey. 
MAL: Listen... She swore to obey? 
WASH: Well, no, not... But that's just my point! You she obeys! She obeys you! There's obeying going on right under my nose!

WASH: This is gonna get pretty interesting. 
MAL: Define interesting. 
WASH: "Oh god oh god, we're all gonna die"?

"Can I make a suggestion that doesn't involve violence? Or is this the wrong crowd?"

"I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar."

"Can we start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90 pound girl? Because that's *never* getting old."